Yummy – 100WC Week 23

One day Mr.Lodep decided to go for a walk he went gingerly to the park where he saw remarkable sight it was a pack of doritos ‘Secret Flavor’ he ran off to eat them.

He opened the pack and ate one suddenly he had teleported to an undiscovered Island. He was amazed that he discovered a new place he was dabbing in excitement as he jumped around.

However how  could he get back? he stopped dabbing as he thought about that. He was screaming “HELP” he shouted waving his hands around. Suddenly he saw a map and doritos he jumped towards the map. He glanced at the yellow map…

By Marcus

One thought on “Yummy – 100WC Week 23

  1. Hi Marcus,

    Well done for including all the words from the prompt in your story. I enjoyed the language you used overall, however you must pay more attention to the use of punctuation and to proofreading your work. You need a lot more full stops. Rather than him trying to get back, I would have liked if you developed the story of him on the island a bit further. There could have been anything living there! This would have been more exciting than looking for a way home so soon.

    From Ms Fitzgerald

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