The Wooden haunted house-100WC Week 23

Today is the day where I am going to gingerly sneak into a wooden haunted house with my friend. It is right next door to my house.

When we were at the front of the  wooden haunted house I started to shake, real bad. Then however the house had a disgusting smell.  

When we stepped into the house you saw bright yellow gold. It was so remarkable. Luckily I brought a bag so I can out the gold in the bag.

OH NO! It is raining, there are big storms! We will melt if we go outside! So we will have to stay inside!.

2 hours later…. It has stopped raining! Let’s go now. Wait someone is coming back in the  house…..

One thought on “The Wooden haunted house-100WC Week 23

  1. Hi Emily,

    Well done for including all the words from the prompt. However, your tenses are a bit mixed up. You started in present tense and then used past. Then you went back to present. Try to develop more of an interesting storyline. It was a bit disjointed…the house was haunted but you found gold in it. If a house is haunted, I would expect something spooky to happen. Perhaps it could have been an old, dilapidated cottage which you found gold in.

    I didn’t know what this sentence meant:” Luckily I brought a bag so I can out the gold in the bag.” Did you mean to write ‘put’ instead of ‘out’? Make sure you proofread your work before you post it.

    From Ms Fitzgerald

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