The Dancing Miniature Fruits

One day I was  at school and I went to sit down gingerly on my chair and when I did I saw miniature dancing bananas! There was a remarkable amount of them however I discovered that there was so much mini fruits dancing! The bananas were so yellow that they EXPLODED! When the bell went, the mini fruits followed me around and I just noticed that I they were mad at me because I ruined their concert. When the principal saw me I got in such BIG trouble so I had to stay in for 1 hour after  school, suddenly the fruit army attacked the school…

By Max

2 thoughts on “The Dancing Miniature Fruits

  1. Hi Max,

    I enjoyed your story this week! It was quite different! Just remember to proofread your work really carefully. This sentence doesn’t make complete sense: “There was a remarkable amount of them however I discovered that there was so much mini fruits dancing!”
    Also you said that they exploded but they they followed you around. Does this make sense? When we write numbers in writing, it’s best to write the word, e.g. one hour. You needed a full stop after school and then a new sentence for ‘Suddenly the fruit army….’. I liked your ending and am left wondering what happened next!

    From Ms Fitzgerald

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